Jealousy.

I'm so sick and tired of being such a jealous person.

It doesn't matter who it is, I find something to be jealous about. It's really giving me and my boyfriend issues. I see a girl I think is better looking, skinnier, nicer, funnier, cooler, etc, than me; and I just HAVE to say something about it that makes him so upset with me. "You want her." or "I bet you'd rather be with someone more like that than with me."

I HATE myself for it but I can't stop. I know he cares for me, genuinely. I know it hurts him when I say these things, but I can't seem to stop saying them. And it's worse when it deals with his ex. I always bring her up for no damn reason at all, and it hurts us both. I know she's not prettier than me, I know she's not skinnier, smarter, nicer, funnier either; but I feel like she's still better than me. Even though she's a lying, dirty, ugly little whore. I just can't help but feel she's STILL better than me somehow, and he'd rather be with her, or anyone else besides me.

I'm tired of feeling so flawed.
I want to be perfect..

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