I am so SICK and TIRED of people telling me what to fucking do with myself.
Especially when they don't understand what the hell I'm going through, or that they're fucking PERFECT compared to me and it makes me feel like shit when I'm around them.
I spent the weekend at my boyfriend's house, which I hate doing because:
#1: His psycho mom is a bitch and loves to tell me how to raise MY child,
#2: I can't get away with not eating anything, because he MAKES me eat.
I woke up today in a pretty good mood, and I knew I wasn't going to binge or over eat, at least not by choice. But no. My boyfriend wakes up, makes me go into the kitchen with him, and tells me to get breakfast. I would have been fine with a glass of orange juice, but he grabs me a plate and places a cinnimon roll on it. A cinnimon roll?! Do you know how fattening that shit is? Not only that, but when I tell him "That's fine, I just want this," he piles on a second roll, and hands me a yogurt cup. I was PISSED. I did not want to eat any of that, but I can't NOT eat around him, or it causes problems between us, and then HE refuses to eat until I agree to. I absolutely HATE that. He doesn't understand.
He's PERFECT. He's GORGEOUS. He's SKINNY!
He couldn't understand why I hate myself so much, because he's never been fat like I am. He's been skinny all his life. He's the type that can eat whatever the hell he wants to, and not gain a damn pound. And then HE sits there and jokes about how he doesn't need to eat because he's fat.....I just can't take it.....I just want to tell him so badly that my eating disorder is back; that I'm relapsing. But he wouldn't understand. No one understands. Not unless you're like me...
And just so you can see how skinny he is...I took pictures.
And he wonders why I hate eating around him...I feel like a damn cow when I do...):
